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Jeremiah Boswell in China

A whirlwind of cities and Chinese experiences!

By Jeremiah Boswell

Jeremiah Boswell

Shanghai, Guangzhou, Zhengzhou, Xian, Shenyang, Xian, Jinan, Beijing...Now that's an itinerary. Thanks to Marty Conlon, A.K.A. "The Big Ticket," for the second summer in a row, I was in China absorbing the culture and working NBA basketball camps.

This year, I had the pleasure of working with coaches Paul Mokeski, Mike Wilson and Rex Kalamian, as well as former players Glenn Rice and Vladimir Stepania.

We are there to spread and improve the game of basketball by teaching 15-18 year old Chinese boys more about the game. As they have adopted our game (often leading to funny looking left handed lay-ups), while we are there, we try to adopt their culture (which in turn results in funny looking chopstick pick-ups).

Here is a short list of cultural things I learned while there.

Eating with chopsticks is a skill and needs to be honed... I didn't have a whole lot of chopstick experience going into all this, so I felt like I was playing that one arcade game that you can find everywhere. You put a quarter in, move the overhead claw around, then when ready, drop the claw down into the vast world of stuffed animals and surprises. Once the claw is in with the goodies, you hope, hope, hope that it holds onto something as it clamps and comes back up...

While desperately trying to improve my motor skills and finger-eye coordination, I would admirably observe the locals and their phenomenal abilities. They can snag anything from peanuts and noodles to Big Mac's or suitcases if you asked them to.

I also realized that my biggest comfort in the south became my greatest enemy in China. Yep, the Lazy Susan! At home, I spin it, stop it, and grab (with only an occasional knocking over of a protruding object). Here, the Lazy Susan spins and spins with little patience for amateurs like myself.

This provided me with mere seconds to "save face," but more importantly, to "feed face!" I quickly learned that much like golf, the more strength and effort you put into hitting the ball (grabbing the food), it generally doesn't bring the best results (and in both cases, can lead to blisters).

Undoubtedly, several items ended up in my drink, but I got better. And when no one was looking, I would morbidly stab rolls or any other object that could be pierced rather than picked up.

Chanting FAWNZHO (DEFENSE) doesn't seem to have the same affect in China... In China, they seem to play the game without too much contact leading to many defensive players looking like world-class matadors. I tried to encourage defense (I'm turning into my dad) and did get a reaction from a few of them, but for the most part, the word seemed as foreign to them as it was to me.

Driving is utterly frightening... I usually resolved to either closing my eyes or eating seven snickers bars out of nervous energy as we tried to plot a route to the gym. Bicycles, motorbikes, cars, Segway's (not really), walkers, dogs - you name it, and it's there in large quantities. Traffic somehow morphed into one giant amoeba lane. The only possible way not to die must be a hyperactive Yin and Yang due to extreme traffic feng shui going on.

Jeremiah Boswel, in the center, with friends Vladimi Stepania and Paul Mokeski, trying to learn some kung fu in China.

On these entertaining (read: terrifying) drives, I also picked-up on the fact that outside the minor setbacks of language, height and hair color, I could never be a local. The final straw was bicycle riding. Now I can ride a bike pretty darn well, but they take it too another level as entire family's (mom, dad, kid 1, kid 2, cat, groceries) navigating the onslaught of traffic on one bike.

Translators can't always translate... I loved my translator (and being able to say I had a translator), but I'm not always sure that Kevin was saying the same thing I did. First of all, every translation undoubtedly took either double or half the amount of time as my statements. I became curious when I noticed that it wasn't always double or always half. Rather, one statement might be double, and then the next would be half...I'm on to you Kevin!

My name is pretty darn difficult for other cultures to say... In Bulgaria, I became known simply as "Jerry" to my teammates. In Brazil, it was "Barbie". In China, they give a little stronger effort (after I say it slowly 3 times and spell it).

So in China I became, "Jere-mile." However, the last part really seems to linger, so it sounds more like, "and here is coach Jeremilllllle." Or even better, sometimes I felt like a mix of a chocolate dessert and myself. And though I like caramel, I don't feel like my name should be Jeramel.

Chinese food in American isn't really Chinese food... I'm not a picky eater and generally take the approach that I will "try" anything. A co-worker, friend and super food orderer, Joe Ye definitely had my best interests at hand when he began telling me what I was eating after I tried it.

Therefore, now I can say that I've eaten cow tail (a little crunchy), chicken cartilage (also a little crunchy but apparently good for you), and even, shall I say...deer penis soup (not sure if there is a positive spin I can put on that one, but I honestly didn't know what it was until it was too late).

The Terra Cotta Warriors were pretty impressive... I'm not sure that I can fully understand where Emperor Qin Shi Huang was coming from. I mean, sure, he would die, but I'm not certain that he needed to have over 8,000 statues built to protect him in the afterlife. I would love to know the present day equivalent to how much money he spent on that. Regardless, it is an impressive site and is worth seeing.

An all-nighter in Hong Kong is exhausting... When toying with the question of should we do it or not, the biggest factor was definitely not knowing if I'd ever have the chance to see Hong Kong again. As soon as the train took Joe and me into Hong Kong, I noticed two things:

The first thing was the existence of visible Christian churches on both sides of the track, which seemed to be a sharp contrast to China. My next quick observation came in the taxi - we were driving on the wrong side of the road. (I'm glad everybody else was too).

We had a nice dinner with the wonderful Chan family (Wilbert, Winnie and Joanne) and then proceeded to "hit the town." At 6 a.m. when we hopped back on the train, I definitely felt like it had hit us.

But just like the other experiences mentioned, it was worth it. China is a growing world market that I was grateful to witness in the weeks leading up to the Olympics. Now it is a place of memories and friends and not just a place on the map.

Editor's Note: Jeremiah Boswell is a native of Pickens County and grew up in Big Canoe. After starring in Pickens High basketball and at Columbia University, he now plays professionally around the World and shares his travel experiences with Smoke Signals' readers.

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